Combatting Jealousy and Bitterness: Lessons from Cain and Abel

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Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Diary of a Black Woman podcast.

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I'm your host, Connie Morris, and I'm glad you've joined me for our second episode

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in our series, The Games We Play with God.

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Today, we're talking about the danger of jealousy and bitterness,

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a game that has been played since the beginning of time.

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Our story takes place in Genesis 4, where we meet two brothers,

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Cain and Abel, and see how unchecked jealousy and bitterness can lead to devastating consequences.

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If you ever struggle with comparison, envy, or unresolved anger,

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this episode will speak to your heart and challenge you to surrender those feelings to God.

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So let's start with the story of Cain and Abel.

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So go with me to Genesis 4.

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I'm going to read from verses 2 through 8.

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And it says, Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil.

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In the course of time, Cain brought some of the fruit of the soil as an offering to the Lord.

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Abel also brought an offering, fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock.

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The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering,

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he did not look with favor.

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So Cain was furious and his face was downcast.

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So we see here that Cain's anger and jealousy towards Abel weren't just feelings.

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They were seeds that grew into bitterness and ultimately violence.

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Instead of examining his own heart and correcting his offering,

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Cain allowed his jealousy to consume him, leading to the first murder in human history.

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Jealousy unchecked leads to bitterness, and bitterness unchecked leads to destruction.

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This is powerful. Are there any areas in your life where jealousy or bitterness is taking root?

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I mean, is it enough that it can actually, it's so rooted inside of your heart

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that you can actually kill someone, right?

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And so that's, you want to check that.

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We see here that jealousy often begins with comparison.

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Jane compared God's response to Abel's offering with his response to his own.

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Instead of seeing it as an opportunity for growth, Cain let his comparison turn into resentment.

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You know, as I'm reading this over, I'm noticing where do we get a lot of comparison,

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jealousy, and bitterness from?

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A lot of times it comes from in our family.

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It can come from where we work. It can also come from on our social media where

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we're doing all this comparison and contrasting. and that can create this little ugh in our heart.

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And so we want to kind of check that. Why do we feel that way?

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We see here with Cain and Abel, Cain's simple response could have said,

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why don't you want my offering?

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Cain brought what was a normal offering throughout the Bible.

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It was always some type of animal, right? It was rarely ever any type of, you know.

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You know, vegetables or fruits, right? So he's brought fruit from the soil,

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but he had a knowledge of what to bring because he probably learned it from their parents.

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So we see right away that Abel had a way that he wanted to do things and it

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wasn't right before God.

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So he had a way that he wanted to make it work. He said, I'm just going to bring God any old thing.

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And God said, I'm not taking any other thing.

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And since he didn't take any other thing, we can see that start to take root in his life, right?

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And so a lot of times we need to check ourselves because a lot of times we can

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make those comparisons or we on the outside looking in and we don't know what

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God has already told a lot of people or even our friends,

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even our parents, even our children,

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even the people that are close to us and what they are supposed to be doing.

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And so when they begin to get angry at you or angry at God, first thing we should

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ask them is, what was the last thing God told you? Having that conversation.

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And then, hey, why don't you go do that? So Proverbs 14, 30 says,

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A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bone.

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So we see jealousy often begins with comparison.

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Cain compared God's response to Abel's offering with his response to his home.

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Instead of seeing it as an opportunity for growth, Cain let his comparison turn into resentment.

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Jealousy doesn't just affect our emotions. It impacts our spiritual and physical well-being.

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It robs us of peace and blinds us of the blessing we already have.

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How long would it take able to run and get a first fruit of a first life?

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Of an animal and just bring it to God right away. I mean, how long would that take?

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Like the Bible says, we know what to do. God has already put it in our hearts

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on what is right and what is wrong.

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And so we can always make it right with God.

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But when we don't make it right with God, our heart begins to get hard and it

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creates this jealousy or bitterness.

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And when that takes root, it's just not good.

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What are the dangers of bitterness? When jealousy isn't addressed,

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it grows into bitterness, a deep-seated resentment that poisons our hearts and relationships.

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The Bible warns about this in Hebrews 12 verse 15.

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See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root

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grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

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And when the Bible tells you that a bitter root can grow, you want to put that

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circle and underline it, highlight it, make it a poster.

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You want to just put it there, right?

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You want to put it in front that a bitter root can cause trouble and defile many.

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Cain's bitterness didn't just

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affect him. It led to the loss of his brother's life and his own exile.

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Bitterness isolates us from others and more importantly from God?

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How has bitterness impacted your relationship with others or with God?

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How can we make it right with God? He's going to tell you, that's not how I want it.

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You might be giving him any kind of offering, any kind of time.

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You might be coming into the throne room with your cell phone on and answering

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it, answering a text, and then you leave and you have even said not a word to the Lord.

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And then you wonder why your sister prayer is getting answered,

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but your prayer is not getting answered.

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You get bitterness and jealousy and envy in your heart, and now you're mad at

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her, but you're not doing what's required for you.

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And so a lot of times you always have to kind of check yourself.

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Check what's going on in your heart.

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Are you doing what is required for you to get where you need to get with God

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to get your prayers answered, to grow your relationship with God.

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Sometimes it's not even about answer prayer. I think as a new Christian,

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it's about answer prayer because we come in such a dire need of something.

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But as your relationship grows, it's just getting in his presence sometimes can be enough.

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So let's Let's talk about overcoming jealousy and bitterness before it takes

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root, according to Hebrews 12, 15. I'm going to read that again.

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So see to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter

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root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

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Here are three practical steps. Number one, examine your heart.

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Ask God to reveal areas where jealousy or bitterness may be hiding.

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You know, jealousy and bitterness, there's some creepy little monsters,

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you know, they're like that.

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They kind of creep in, you know, and you don't realize that they're in until

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you go like, ah, I can't stand her.

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And then you realize that it could be jealousy. It could be bitterness.

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You didn't get that promotion or jealousy because, you know,

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it could just little bitty stuff, right?

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But the Bible says in Psalms 139, 23, search me, God, and know my heart.

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Test me and know my anxious thoughts. And so when those little jealousy,

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bitterness, let's call them, I call them little monsters because they grow.

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They can grow real big in our hearts.

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Especially when you add the comparison monster with it so it can grow real big

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God has something when you realize like I said,

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when you get past the point of always asking God for something just to get in

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his presence just to be with him you'll find out that God has something for

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you just for you and it fits you just perfectly and so you don't even have to

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be worried you don't have to even be jealous,

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compare or even be bitter have bitterness about someone else's promotion car,

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house, that's theirs.

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They got it however God gave it to them. He has something for you.

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But whenever you start comparing and trying to compete for that thing,

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there's going to be some problems and problems,

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Because you're trying to do it in your own will, your own way,

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and you're leaving God out. So check your heart. Check your heart.

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Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts.

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And I'm just, that's from experience. You get all, and it's kind of like, you're just mad.

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And you can actually, you know, get so jealous and bitter and comparison driven

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that you can actually be so upset you can go punch somebody in the face. You ever been that mad?

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That's not good, right? It's nothing they did. They're just doing what they

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do. You over there are steaming.

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And so examine your heart. Keep checking it. Lord, check my heart.

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Check my heart. Check my heart.

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What do you have for me? What do you have for me? Why am I feeling this way?

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Why am I feeling this way? And then Lord will reveal to you that it's just anxiety.

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You're so afraid that you're that fear of missing out that you think that's

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the last one. That promotion was the last one. right?

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That last, that's the last one. Let's go number two, celebrate other successes.

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Here we go. That'll help you. Instead of comparing, practice gratitude for what

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God has given you and celebrate the blessings of others' lives.

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When you can get that attitude of gratitude for somebody else,

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the jealousy monsters, bitterness monsters, they leave screaming because they

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have nowhere to build. There's no root.

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Lab is in the heart. They can't build on that soil, right?

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They can build on a stony heart, but they can't build on a heart of love and

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gratitude. It just can't stay in your heart.

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So Romans 12, 15 says, rejoice with those who rejoice.

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It might be hard at first, if you're so used to being jealous and bitter.

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It might be hard at first, but when you begin to rejoice in others,

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rejoice with others, you watch God will turn it around for you. So do a little practice.

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I mean, genuine. Don't do the fake stuff because people can read that, but genuinely rejoice.

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Practice at home before you go.

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Practice at home. Get into an attitude where you can actually rejoice for others.

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Number three, forgive and release. Forgiveness isn't just for that other person.

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It frees you from chains of bitterness.

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You see that chain of bitterness holds you back,

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Colossians 3.13 reads, it says, bear with each other and forgive one another.

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If any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord forgave you.

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Let it go.

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Why do we hold on to it?

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It just, it really rots you out. You ever, I don't know if you notice this,

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but as you get older, If you do have any of that unforgiveness and bitterness

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and jealousy in your heart, it ages you bad.

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It has no place to go. It just sits in your bones and in your heart,

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you know, and you just don't want that.

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So I will say, let it go. So how do you let go?

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Overcome jealousy and bitterness. You examine your heart, celebrate other successes

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and forgive and release. So let's declare these truths together and break free

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from jealousy and bitterness.

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I decree that I will not let jealousy take root in my heart,

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for I am content with God's blessings in my life.

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I decree that I will celebrate others' success and trust God's timing for my own.

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And I decree that bitterness has no place in my heart for I am walking in forgiveness and freedom.

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So this week is a homework assignment. Take time to reflect on areas where jealousy

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and bitterness may be present in your life.

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If you go, there ain't no jealousy. I don't got that happening. Ask the Lord.

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Ask the Holy Ghost. He would say, you know, you know, you could,

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and you ask him and then you'll go into the area, maybe workplace, maybe watch a video.

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I don't know what's going to trigger it, but you're going to say,

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he's going to show you right there, right there.

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There it is. Then write down one step to take to address those feelings,

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whether it's praying for someone, celebrating someone, just trying to letting

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it go, forgiveness and reconciling a broken relationship.

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Whatever it takes this week, let it go.

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Another way you can challenge yourself is to have a gratitude journal.

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You know, each day write down three things that you're thankful for.

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And so when you're thankful, have a thankful heart, you're not really kind of

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focusing on somebody else, right?

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A gratitude of gratitude journal would be great for you.

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It'll keep you focused on what God's doing in your life and you're not so caught

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up in somebody else's life.

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So let's close this out with prayer. Heavenly Father, thank you.

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Thank you, thank you, thank you for being the source of all good things in our

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lives. Help us to guard our hearts against jealousy and bitterness and teach

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us to celebrate the blessings you've given to others.

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Fill us with gratitude, peace, and ability to forgive.

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We surrender our hearts to you, trusting that your plans for us are good.

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In Jesus' name, amen.

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So I'd like to thank you for joining me on this episode of The Games We Play With God.

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If today's message resonates with you, share with the friends,

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subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss the next episode where we will be

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talking about the destructive power of pride,

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games number three.

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Until next time, guard your heart, walk in gratitude, and be blessed.