Faith on the Go: Ep9: Breaking Free from the Past: A Journey Forward

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Hello and welcome back to Diary of a Black Woman podcast.

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I'm your host Connie Morris and we're continuing on the series of The Curse

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of Familiarity with our Faith on the Go message.

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And today's title is Looked Back and Lost It All, Story of Lot's Wife and the

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Danger of Longing for What God Told You to Leave.

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Welcome back to Faith on the Go with your host Connie Morris where we keep it

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real, raw, and rooted in the word.

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Today's episode of The Curse of Familiarity brings us face-to-face with a woman

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who escaped destruction but couldn't detach from what she came from.

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Can I say that again, people out there in podcast land?

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She escaped destruction but couldn't detach from where she came from.

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We're talking about Lot's wife.

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This is episode nine, I believe.

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Look back and lost it all. Lot's wife and the danger of longing for what God told you to leave.

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I feel like a mic drop, but I ain't dropping this mic. Because sometimes the

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issue isn't getting out.

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It's what you're still looking at after God already delivered you.

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I'm going to have to say that again because sometimes we miss it.

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We miss it because sometimes the issue isn't getting out.

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It's what you're still looking at after God already delivered you. So let's talk about it.

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This is faith on the go. Real talk, real growth, wherever you are.

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Let's go to Genesis 19, chapter 19, verses 15 to 17.

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In verse 26, with the coming of dawn, the angels urged Lot, saying,

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Hurry, take your wife and two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away

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when the city is punished.

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As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, Flee for your lives,

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don't look back, and don't stop anywhere in the plain.

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But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of sorrow.

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Okay, check this out. All that excitement, all that noise, all this is going on.

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And lo and behold, the angels are rescuing you from what? Danger.

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They're telling you probably loud in the

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angelic voice that they have to don't look back probably holding your head too

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you know don't look back because the angels come from heaven and think about

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this the angels are telling you don't look back and then the first thing you

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do is what they told you not to do is look back,

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She was almost free. She was outside the city. She had escaped judgment,

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but her heart was still attached to what God was trying to destroy.

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That's what familiarity does.

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It convinced you that what's behind you is worth more than what's ahead.

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Let's talk about it. Oh my gosh.

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How many of us, and I can say

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I put my hand up had went back when God

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told you not to go back and we thought it would be better because that person

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might have changed you know they sweet talked to you and you think oh my gosh

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okay I'm going to do it I'm going to give you another chance and you go back

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you were delivered you were set free,

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you were done you prayed and fasted you got delivered but you went back And it was hell part two.

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It was hell part two. And you just said like, okay, Lord, if you deliver me

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this time, I won't go back.

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And you didn't go back that second time. You were like, okay,

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I learned my lesson on that one.

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But people do that not just in relationship. They do that with,

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come on, addictions is real.

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It could be drug, alcohol, sex. It's real. We get free.

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And then we somehow people, places, and I call it events. People, places, and events.

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And those can be some triggers that can keep you, I call it, doing a lot's wife.

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Looking back. Keep looking back. Keep looking back.

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But this punishment was so real that the Lord said, if you like it that much, freeze frame.

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I'm going to keep you there. You're going to be stuck. Does anyone in this podcast

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listening feel like they stuck because they keep looking back?

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They can't seem to let it go?

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Interesting, right? God's like, I'm trying to free you, trying to let you let that go.

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Look for God is a future God. He, when he says, let it go, I mean,

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he's got something better.

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That's in the background. That's your past. It don't matter anymore.

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Yes, you don't know what's in the front. You don't know what's in your future, but he does.

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So, I mean, you have to stay close to Jesus, right?

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So we get too familiar with our past that we don't want to let it go.

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And see what happens here. We see that her heart was still attached to what

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God was trying to destroy.

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And many times, you know, we see it on the news.

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Sometimes that she didn't get destroyed in the fire with the,

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you know, they were destroying Sodom and Gomorrah. She got destroyed outside.

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She got free and then died.

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How many people of your friends may have been hurt or injured or even killed

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in car accidents or in fluke accidents because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time?

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I know I have friends like that who died at the wrong place and at the wrong time.

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They were just they just were they refused

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to let it go went back to the club and the

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and something happened at the club they were killed you know got in the car

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intoxicated was killed you know hanging out at the at the spot you know people

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have places they hang outside too long i mean back in the day was like a chicken

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place or after our restaurant gas station,

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sometimes people just need to go home you know so when you're young you're doing

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that right Sometimes people are old doing it. Let me keep it real.

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And so, but you left the bar that was dangerous and now you out in the streets

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and then the streets still just as dangerous, but yet you die in the streets.

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I'm a retired police officer, so I've seen some stuff. So you get free from

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one and then you die in another, right? And so I'm not going to park it at much longer.

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But her heart was still attached. Where is your heart still attached to some

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stuff that God is trying to let go of?

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You know, what is it that you keep trying to make, pray for somebody?

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And God's saying, let it go. I'll take care of it. But we're like, no.

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Especially us parents. Our parents, we see our child just acting up.

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They're just acting up. And we want to save them from themselves.

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And God says, I have them. I have them. Let me have them.

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But when we do that, we see that they're getting worse. And we go,

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okay, I'll take them back now, Lord, because I see that you're not doing your part.

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Come on now, y'all. We know as parents, we do that.

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And he's like, Connie, I told you I got him. I got him. He's like,

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no, you let him hurt himself.

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He says, I have him. I have her.

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And so when we began to trust, I did that. I did that so many times.

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Give him to God and take him back. Give him to God and take him back.

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But I released him to God one final time. I did. And they're doing fine.

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They're doing fine, you know.

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And so we have to begin to trust God that they won't be destroyed, right?

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So that's what familiarity does. It convinces us that what's behind you is more than what's ahead.

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Begin to let that junk go. Sometimes it's your friends.

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You think they're your friends, you know. If you think they're your friends,

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sometimes you gotta I let that go too.

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If they truly are friends, they'll be around if you let them go.

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You know, if you let them go, they'll be like, that's Connie.

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She's going to be back in a minute. You know, they'll let you go.

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People, I always say this, you know, when you're a follower,

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you don't know what the leader is up to.

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And sometimes the followers end up getting hurt.

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Sometimes they die. But if you're the leader, you know where you're going.

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And so you can always find a way of escape quicker than being a follower.

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I don't know why I'm on that, but let's move on. So the curse of familiarity.

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Last wife wasn't longing for

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the will of God. She was longing for the comfort of what she used to know.

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How many know that when God gets ready to change you, something about you,

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he's going to change first your situation?

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And so if you're doing something that you ain't got no business doing and you're

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praying, Lord, help me, help me, he's going to first separate you from your

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friends. That's the first thing he's going to do.

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So that might either, A, if he got to put you in jail or do something to separate

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you from your frenemies. He's going to have to do something to separate you.

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He might move you. You might get a job that will relocate you to another state, another country.

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He's going to separate you. He's going to have to isolate you where you only

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can depend on him, right, only, right?

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And so that's that separation so he can get to know you, so you can get to know

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him. But for here, these angels came to deliver Lot and his wife.

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It's interesting that we don't know Lot's wife's name.

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Interesting. The Bible does that to some people who don't live long, right?

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Lot's wife. We don't know her name.

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We wonder why didn't she give her a name, right?

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Because we knew that she was going to do something like this, maybe. I don't know.

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Lot's wife. Let's keep going.

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She was longing for comfort. Many times when God's going to do something in

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our lives, first thing he's going to do is remove you.

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Second thing he's going to probably do is make you very uncomfortable.

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And that's why we go cling back to what we know that's familiar, right?

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So if you already know, like, oh man, uncomfortable.

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And so what we do, we'll just go hang around, go back to our friends.

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And that's why we stay in some of our bad habits because we don't like that

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uncomfortable feeling.

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We don't like that alone feeling, so we'll go back.

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We'll go back to the vomit, to the dog dung, right? We know it's not good,

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but we'd rather go there than be alone and then suffer than be by ourselves with Jesus.

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We see here that Sodom was toxic, and God made that clear, right?

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But her familiarity with dysfunction made a second-guess deliverance.

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We get comfortable in toxic relationships. We get comfortable in dysfunction.

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And so we don't want to change because we're comfortable in that dysfunction.

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And we don't really realize how dysfunction that we are until we actually start

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to spend time with the Lord.

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I'm not saying I am whole and holy, but I'm better than I was.

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I'm better than I was. Because we don't realize that where we was is poisonous.

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And it could be some church folks, too. I'm not saying that that can be very

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dysfunctional sometimes, right?

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That can be very dysfunctional sometimes. But her familiarity with dysfunction

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made her second guess her deliverance because she wanted to stay.

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When everybody's doing it, it don't seem like it's dysfunctional.

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It doesn't seem like it's toxic. Am I right?

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But when you get away from it for a season, you

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realize that it was toxic that it was

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dysfunctional right so let's look

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at let's take a look and she lost

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it all so just and one look just one look just one look the angel said do not

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look and the way i was talking in that tone they probably was serious god probably

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told them make sure they don't look back and so the angel probably spoke in

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the same tone he heard God says,

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make sure that they don't look back.

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So let's see. And she lost it all, even her life. So you deliver from that relationship,

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but you keep scrolling their page.

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You're still going back. Why are you scrolling their page? Delete it.

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Delete their name off your phone. God's doing something new.

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Delete the name. Delete the whole thing. I've done that.

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Got married. And then all of a sudden, he friended me. I'm like,

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whoa, but instead of me friending him, I'm checking out his page.

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And then I was like, delete, because remember, why are you, we divorced.

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There's no need for me to be your friend. We are now divorced.

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So let's not do that. Let me not do that.

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Because now that what I thought was a good relationship, I realized once I was

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away from it, it was not a good relationship.

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It was toxic and it was dysfunctional. You get what I'm saying?

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But then why do those dysfunctional people always want to come back and see what you're doing?

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So I deleted my whole Facebook page. You don't see me giving you Facebook information.

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I deleted that whole page because too many dysfunctional people, familiar people.

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I just wanted to give it a little more time. I put it out there,

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had a Facebook page. And...

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And I was finding out everybody was finding me who I didn't want to find me.

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And so I was like, oh, let's get rid of that Facebook page for a while.

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You know, let's just close it out. I started up in another year or two.

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Maybe they come up with something else besides Facebook. Okay?

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So I'm just preaching from the real.

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And so you deliver relationship. You keep scrolling the page. Stop.

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You walked away from an old habit, but keep replaying the good old times.

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Me and my sister, we had to stop that. We always, we would talk like,

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remember we used to do this? Remember we used to do that?

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And I said, one day I was like, as the years grew on, I said,

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remember that wasn't really fun.

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We didn't have any money. What were we doing out that late? That was not fun.

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And she said, you know, you're right. And so after a while, those stories ended,

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you know, because we want to glamorize what we thought was fun.

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In reality, if we think about it, we were dysfunctional. It was dysfunctional fun.

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Drinking and hanging out at the bar, half-dressed, was that really fun? What were we doing?

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We're all on the enemy's territory. Doing what? Drinking his drinks?

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How fun was that supposed to be? But when you're in it, you think you're having a good old time.

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Come on now. But when you're out of it, when you look back like Lot's wife,

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you realize that was toxic.

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And if I go back that way, will I be stuck again?

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You know, so get free, stay free. Amen.

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Don't glamorize the past. Let's keep going. You pray for new doors,

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but you keep reminiscing over the closed one. When God closes doors,

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as you get older, you realize that he closed those doors for a purpose.

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And so when he closed a door for you, you know, especially friends,

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I reached out to some old friends and they said, Connie, you left. You didn't say goodbye.

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And then I'll say, you know what? That door might be closed.

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Slam and then delete the number.

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You know, sometimes God closes doors. Sometimes you don't realize that door

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is closed until you try to open it.

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Sometimes you can't open it. And sometimes you open it and the response will

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show you that that door is closed.

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So don't, you know what, can we get together and just go?

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No, because he closed it for a reason, right?

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So when we look back, you can tell that door is closed, that you are in a new season.

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So I hope that's helping somebody out there. So you're delivered from the relationship,

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but you keep scrolling their page.

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You walk away from old habit, and you keep replaying the good old times.

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What was good about the old?

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Especially if you were not a Christian. Anytime we look back thinking it was

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good, we learn our lesson, and we move on.

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And you pray for new doors, but you keep crying over an old door.

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You don't want that. God got something new. God always says in Isaiah 43,

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he said, forget the old, I'm doing a new thing. So he don't even like when we go back.

00:18:32.192 --> 00:18:35.112
He wants to forget the old he wants to do.

00:18:36.092 --> 00:18:39.652
Forget the old. Stop reminiscing about the old.

00:18:39.932 --> 00:18:46.672
God is doing a new thing. And yes, a new thing might be uncomfortable, but it's new. It's new.

00:18:47.712 --> 00:18:52.692
So we say we want a breakthrough, but yet we still mourn the bondage.

00:18:53.772 --> 00:18:58.352
Being free is hard, right, for the first couple years or so,

00:18:58.432 --> 00:19:01.192
because we're so used to that dysfunction.

00:19:01.652 --> 00:19:08.352
But stay free for a little bit longer, and then you'll find out that what you

00:19:08.352 --> 00:19:11.372
are in is bondage. It is toxic.

00:19:11.752 --> 00:19:13.932
You know, it is toxic.

00:19:14.372 --> 00:19:18.912
And keep going forward in your new. Don't keep looking back.

00:19:19.672 --> 00:19:23.752
You know, that's your breakthrough. God said he'll make a way of escape.

00:19:24.052 --> 00:19:28.632
When you get that opportunity to escape, run, Forrest, run.

00:19:29.192 --> 00:19:33.772
Just go and don't look back. Don't look back.

00:19:34.272 --> 00:19:40.172
Get a whole new phone number if you have to. Just change your number. Change your address.

00:19:41.052 --> 00:19:44.352
And let God do a new thing in you.

00:19:44.552 --> 00:19:51.352
So let's be clear here. Looking back doesn't just slow you down. it freezes your future.

00:19:51.872 --> 00:19:56.532
You know, you ever notice some people who may have been stuck, they are stuck?

00:19:56.852 --> 00:20:01.132
You know, nothing wrong with you being a superstar in your high school years,

00:20:01.392 --> 00:20:04.892
but you're 60 now. What have you done lately?

00:20:05.572 --> 00:20:08.752
You know, are you mentoring basketball, high school players?

00:20:09.232 --> 00:20:11.372
You know, same way with females.

00:20:11.932 --> 00:20:15.912
You might have been a beautiful beauty queen, but you're 50 now.

00:20:16.172 --> 00:20:19.592
You're still beautiful. Can you help the girls put their makeup on?

00:20:19.612 --> 00:20:23.672
They probably could help you put makeup on, you know, because they'd be putting

00:20:23.672 --> 00:20:26.732
that makeup on tight and right, right?

00:20:26.952 --> 00:20:31.512
You know, what can you do to help the next generation instead of looking back

00:20:31.512 --> 00:20:33.492
on wish you woulda, coulda, coulda?

00:20:33.772 --> 00:20:39.292
You ever see at some churches, I haven't seen that yet, that the bitter woman

00:20:39.292 --> 00:20:41.712
in the corner mad and snapping at everybody.

00:20:42.232 --> 00:20:47.072
You know, she's supposed to be mentoring these young women, sometimes even the

00:20:47.072 --> 00:20:50.112
young men, for their future. Right.

00:20:51.246 --> 00:20:58.526
So let's go. Okay, so signs you're looking back at Sodom. We covered a lot of this.

00:20:58.926 --> 00:21:01.606
You romanticize what was toxic.

00:21:02.666 --> 00:21:06.406
She looked back. She wasn't curious. She was connected.

00:21:06.946 --> 00:21:12.626
You hesitate when God tells you to move, when you need confirmation for what

00:21:12.626 --> 00:21:13.966
he's already made clear.

00:21:14.486 --> 00:21:19.006
That's interesting, too. God's telling you to move, and you're going like,

00:21:19.006 --> 00:21:21.706
I'm looking for some confirmation.

00:21:22.006 --> 00:21:24.406
What confirmation do you need when God tells you to go?

00:21:26.866 --> 00:21:30.066
This confirmation on top of confirmation, you're just hesitating.

00:21:30.386 --> 00:21:32.906
You're going to do the life thing, and you're going to end up stuck.

00:21:33.686 --> 00:21:38.326
Opportunities come about once in a lifetime. So you get an opportunity to leave

00:21:38.326 --> 00:21:43.166
the state, but you don't want to leave the state because you don't know nobody in that state.

00:21:43.286 --> 00:21:45.966
That's me. I'm in Nebraska. My family's not in Nebraska.

00:21:46.766 --> 00:21:51.486
But I get here, and it's just the greatest place. You know, not the greatest

00:21:51.486 --> 00:21:55.726
place, but it's a peaceful place, a very productive here, right?

00:21:56.086 --> 00:21:58.186
Do I need a confirmation? Nope.

00:21:59.226 --> 00:22:02.726
God gives you these signs all the way up until he tells you to go.

00:22:03.066 --> 00:22:07.566
You got some things that are happening, like he talks to you, boom, boom, boom, boom.

00:22:07.826 --> 00:22:12.226
Then when it's time for you to go, boom, that's your confirmation. Go.

00:22:13.126 --> 00:22:16.466
He's not. You ever had a guy do that to you?

00:22:16.666 --> 00:22:21.626
You know things that get a little uneasy, and then all of a sudden he whispers in your spirit, go.

00:22:22.166 --> 00:22:25.846
That's your confirmation right there. You done begged to move.

00:22:26.206 --> 00:22:28.786
Now you're moving, and now you need another confirmation.

00:22:29.446 --> 00:22:33.226
Come on now, Lot's wife. Get to moving. Get to stepping.

00:22:33.586 --> 00:22:38.566
This is your chance to be free, because you don't know what's going to happen if you hesitate.

00:22:38.966 --> 00:22:41.606
He's got a safe place for you. get to moving.

00:22:42.226 --> 00:22:46.266
Number three, you're more nostalgic than expected.

00:22:46.626 --> 00:22:50.686
You miss the past more than you trust the future. We talked about that.

00:22:50.986 --> 00:22:53.226
You ignore simple instructions.

00:22:53.706 --> 00:22:58.666
Don't look back. That's all they said. You miss the simple instruction.

00:22:58.966 --> 00:23:01.186
What happens when you miss the simple instruction?

00:23:01.686 --> 00:23:04.806
You get judged and you get stuck permanently.

00:23:05.746 --> 00:23:12.906
Let's go. Lost wife didn't die in Sodom. She died on the way out.

00:23:13.506 --> 00:23:18.886
Don't let that be your story this year, that you died on the way out.

00:23:19.166 --> 00:23:24.866
Don't let one glance back at your old life cost you the next move of God.

00:23:25.698 --> 00:23:29.778
When God says go forward, don't flirt with the familiar.

00:23:30.258 --> 00:23:35.758
I shared a story earlier in the podcast about me going back to an ex-boyfriend.

00:23:35.978 --> 00:23:39.918
I learned a lesson from that, and I made a statement for my life.

00:23:40.098 --> 00:23:41.938
I said, I don't go backwards.

00:23:42.358 --> 00:23:46.258
I don't go backwards. I'm only going forward from that point on.

00:23:46.618 --> 00:23:48.638
And at that time, I wasn't a Christian.

00:23:49.078 --> 00:23:56.978
But that statement has kept me from being a lot's wife. It has kept me out of

00:23:56.978 --> 00:24:01.618
toxic relationship. It kept me not repeating cycles in my life.

00:24:01.918 --> 00:24:09.078
That when you get to a certain point, you have to determine that once God delivers

00:24:09.078 --> 00:24:14.378
you from a spot, that you can't go back. You can't go back.

00:24:14.858 --> 00:24:18.958
Deliver you from alcohol, then as you delivered. Don't go sapling,

00:24:19.238 --> 00:24:22.278
talking about his happy hour time, to stay away from it.

00:24:22.378 --> 00:24:26.478
If he delivers you, you are free. Walk in that freedom.

00:24:27.218 --> 00:24:33.138
Because remember, last wife died on the way out. It could be your last time.

00:24:33.658 --> 00:24:37.898
So let's keep moving. Let's pray. I'm talking a lot on this one,

00:24:37.958 --> 00:24:43.458
but this one is really dear to my heart because a lot of time people stay stuck

00:24:43.458 --> 00:24:47.618
and they wonder why they stuck because they keep going back,

00:24:48.018 --> 00:24:54.318
like they're backpedaling backwards into their life because they're too afraid to go forward.

00:24:54.658 --> 00:25:00.478
You know, they're doing stuff they did 10 years ago when that has no longer

00:25:00.478 --> 00:25:03.518
valid. It has played out. It's old.

00:25:03.958 --> 00:25:05.998
Instead of exploring what's new.

00:25:06.856 --> 00:25:10.936
What God is doing in the new. And I always say that when God moves you into

00:25:10.936 --> 00:25:13.576
the new, you will have to learn a new skill.

00:25:13.896 --> 00:25:17.176
I didn't know how to do any podcasting.

00:25:17.656 --> 00:25:21.296
I'm just following instructions that the Lord said, you will start a podcast.

00:25:21.536 --> 00:25:23.936
I'm like, boom. You listen to my earlier podcast.

00:25:24.876 --> 00:25:28.876
People say it's kind of staticky. Yeah, it's old. I don't know what I was doing.

00:25:30.056 --> 00:25:33.296
I still kind of got a new mic and new setup.

00:25:33.616 --> 00:25:38.956
Hope it sounds clearer. but still, I'm still learning as I'm going,

00:25:38.996 --> 00:25:42.396
but I'm not looking back. I'm not even going back.

00:25:42.616 --> 00:25:47.316
I don't even edit my stuff because I want you to hear me clearly that I'm just

00:25:47.316 --> 00:25:49.296
a regular girl just preaching the

00:25:49.296 --> 00:25:55.496
gospel, just keeping it real and being obedient to the call. Let's pray.

00:25:56.456 --> 00:26:03.036
Lord, forgive me for every time I looked back. Help me to release what you've delivered me from.

00:26:03.856 --> 00:26:09.536
Cut the ties to every place, person, or mindset that's not in my future.

00:26:09.856 --> 00:26:15.616
I want to move forward. I want to obey fully. I want to live free.

00:26:15.856 --> 00:26:18.136
In Jesus' name, amen.

00:26:19.176 --> 00:26:22.096
This has been Faith on the Go with your host, Connie Morris.

00:26:22.436 --> 00:26:25.056
In this season, don't be lost, wife.

00:26:25.536 --> 00:26:28.536
Don't get out and still be stuck.

00:26:29.256 --> 00:26:34.016
Move forward, let go, and don't look back.

00:26:34.476 --> 00:26:40.616
Be sure to follow, review, and share. Find me on DiaryOfBlackWomenLLC.com,

00:26:40.656 --> 00:26:46.436
that's my website, or on Instagram at X, at DiaryOfBlackWomenPodcast.

00:26:46.716 --> 00:26:53.296
Until next time, keep your eyes ahead and your heart open and walk strong with

00:26:53.296 --> 00:26:55.816
faith on the go. Bye-bye.