Jan. 26, 2026
Sin City: Ep. 5: The Hidden Cost of Standing Firm
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Connie Morris examines the cost of refusing cultural compromise, using Daniel as a model of quiet, costly obedience. She explains how saying no can isolate you, cost relationships and comfort, but also bring God’s favor and increased discernment.
The episode challenges listeners to make pre-decisions for holiness, warns against seeking human approval, and calls believers to choose God over popularity.
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00:20 - Welcome to the Podcast
01:01 - Living in Sin City
06:53 - Community and Connection
WEBVTT
00:00:10.013 --> 00:00:15.593
Welcome to the Diary of a Black Woman podcast, where we pray bold prayers,
00:00:16.073 --> 00:00:19.953
walk in bold faith, and expect a bold God to show up.
00:00:20.093 --> 00:00:25.673
I'm your host, Connie Morris, and we open every episode with the same unshakable
00:00:25.673 --> 00:00:29.613
confidence Jabez had in 1 Chronicles 4.10.
00:00:29.953 --> 00:00:35.613
Lord, bless me indeed, enlarge my territory, let your hand be with me,
00:00:35.973 --> 00:00:39.973
keep me from evil, and keep me from causing pain. And the Bible says,
00:00:40.493 --> 00:00:41.813
God granted his request.
00:00:42.033 --> 00:00:45.573
So if you're here today, get ready, because we're praying big,
00:00:45.953 --> 00:00:51.813
believing big, and walking in everything God promised. Let's begin.
00:01:01.506 --> 00:01:05.866
Hello and welcome back to Diary of a Black Woman podcast. I'm your host Connie
00:01:05.866 --> 00:01:11.966
Morris and today we're continuing our series of Living in Sin City and today's
00:01:11.966 --> 00:01:13.786
title is Living in Sin City,
00:01:13.886 --> 00:01:17.066
The Cost of Refusing the Kool-Aid.
00:01:17.406 --> 00:01:21.586
So, so far we talked about living in Sin City, drinking the Kool-Aid,
00:01:21.686 --> 00:01:26.246
and how discernment is dying as people believe lies.
00:01:26.566 --> 00:01:30.466
Today we need to talk about something else because this is where most people
00:01:30.466 --> 00:01:32.806
quietly exit the conversation.
00:01:33.166 --> 00:01:37.446
When you refuse the Kool-Aid, it's going to cost you.
00:01:37.906 --> 00:01:39.986
Most people don't refuse the
00:01:39.986 --> 00:01:45.786
Kool-Aid because they can't. They refuse the Kool-Aid because they won't.
00:01:46.106 --> 00:01:48.206
Refusal is never free.
00:01:48.666 --> 00:01:51.906
Scripture never pretends obedience is sheep.
00:01:52.426 --> 00:02:00.106
Jesus says it plainly, if anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself,
00:02:00.646 --> 00:02:05.166
take up his cross, and follow me, Matthew 16, 24.
00:02:05.586 --> 00:02:08.046
This is not symbolic language.
00:02:08.606 --> 00:02:12.086
That's cost me language.
00:02:12.726 --> 00:02:18.846
Crosses are not comfortable. They are public, painful, and misunderstood.
00:02:19.406 --> 00:02:23.606
So when people say, I believe but refuse to change behavior,
00:02:23.986 --> 00:02:26.606
that's what they're really saying.
00:02:26.846 --> 00:02:29.786
I believe until it costs me something.
00:02:30.346 --> 00:02:35.966
Daniel refusal was quiet but expensive. Daniel didn't stand on the stage.
00:02:36.086 --> 00:02:37.926
He didn't preach against Babylon.
00:02:38.266 --> 00:02:42.606
He didn't organize resistance. He simply said no.
00:02:43.006 --> 00:02:49.846
Daniel 8 tells us that Daniel resolved not to defile himself with royal food and wine.
00:02:50.086 --> 00:02:52.566
That refusal put him.
00:02:53.395 --> 00:03:00.095
Risk. Excuse me. Food was tied to education, status, favor, and advancement.
00:03:00.615 --> 00:03:07.395
Refusing meant standing out, being questioned, and possibly being removed or even killed.
00:03:07.815 --> 00:03:12.435
Refusal always isolates you before it protects you.
00:03:13.315 --> 00:03:19.435
Sin City punishes non-participation. Here's something Sin City doesn't say out
00:03:19.435 --> 00:03:21.895
loud. You don't have to sin.
00:03:22.335 --> 00:03:27.715
You have to agree. And when you don't agree, you become a problem.
00:03:28.155 --> 00:03:35.915
Jesus warns us, if the world hates you, know that it hated me before it hated you. John 15, 18.
00:03:36.235 --> 00:03:41.715
Not because you're loud, not because you're aggressive, but because you won't blend.
00:03:42.455 --> 00:03:46.655
Refusal exposes deception without saying a word.
00:03:47.115 --> 00:03:50.895
So why do most people choose the Kool-Aid? Let's be honest.
00:03:51.075 --> 00:03:55.595
The Kool-Aid offers belonging, safety, affirmation, ease.
00:03:56.155 --> 00:04:05.135
Scripture explains it clearly. They love the praise of men more than the praise of God. John 12, 43.
00:04:05.535 --> 00:04:11.395
That verse is uncomfortable because it's accurate. Refusal costs.
00:04:12.291 --> 00:04:15.551
Approval. And approval is addicting.
00:04:15.751 --> 00:04:20.951
The real cost for being misunderstood. When you refuse the Kool-Aid,
00:04:21.251 --> 00:04:25.551
people don't say you're holy. They say you're extreme.
00:04:25.851 --> 00:04:28.191
You're judgmental. You think you're better.
00:04:28.511 --> 00:04:34.511
You're stuck in the past. But Jesus says, blessed are you when people revile
00:04:34.511 --> 00:04:36.731
you and persecute you and say
00:04:36.731 --> 00:04:42.051
all kinds of evil against you falsely for my name's sake. Matthew 5.11.
00:04:42.431 --> 00:04:50.691
Notice the word falsely. Truth doesn't protect you from misrepresentation.
00:04:50.831 --> 00:04:52.991
Refusal requires pre-decision.
00:04:53.671 --> 00:04:57.631
Daniel didn't decide at the table. He decided before the table.
00:04:58.431 --> 00:05:04.751
That's why scripture used the word resolve. Jesus said, no one having put his
00:05:04.751 --> 00:05:10.471
hand to the plow and looking back, it's fit for the kingdom of God. Luke 9, 62.
00:05:10.831 --> 00:05:16.011
You don't decide holiness mid-pressure. You decide it in advance.
00:05:16.391 --> 00:05:19.231
By refusal, it's still worth it.
00:05:19.891 --> 00:05:23.291
Daniel refused and God responded.
00:05:25.131 --> 00:05:30.711
God gave Daniel favor and compassion in the sight of the chief of Enoch.
00:05:31.376 --> 00:05:36.336
Daniel 1.9. Refusal didn't remove him, it positioned him.
00:05:36.596 --> 00:05:42.616
But scripture is clear, favor, follow, obedient, not compromise.
00:05:43.216 --> 00:05:48.916
And it tells us later in the Bible in Daniel 1.17, to these four young men,
00:05:49.296 --> 00:05:51.916
God gave knowledge and understanding.
00:05:52.396 --> 00:05:59.636
It tells us here that God increase their discernment because compromise did not.
00:06:00.036 --> 00:06:05.416
Sin City tells you you'll miss out, you'll fall behind, you'll regret saying no.
00:06:05.916 --> 00:06:12.056
Scripture answers that lie in Matthew 8.36. What does it profit a man to gain
00:06:12.056 --> 00:06:16.276
the whole world and lose his soul? That's the math.
00:06:16.736 --> 00:06:21.496
Let me say it clearly, refusing the Kool-Aid will cost you relationships,
00:06:21.976 --> 00:06:24.956
opportunities, comfort, and popularity.
00:06:25.276 --> 00:06:32.336
But drinking it will cost you discernment, conviction, spiritual authority, proof.
00:06:32.656 --> 00:06:39.016
And scripture says, choose this day whom you will serve. Joshua 24, 15.
00:06:39.356 --> 00:06:41.136
Neutral is not an option.
00:06:41.956 --> 00:06:46.256
And that is it for today. This is the Tired of Black Women Podcast,
00:06:46.276 --> 00:06:47.696
and I'm your host, Connie Morris.
00:06:48.296 --> 00:06:53.336
Next time, we're going to talk about what happens when you refuse and God backs you publicly.
00:06:53.976 --> 00:06:58.616
Stay alert, stay active, and I'll see you on the next episode.
00:07:10.374 --> 00:07:14.814
Family, thank you for spending this time with me today. To every woman listening
00:07:14.814 --> 00:07:20.594
who has ever felt hidden, overlooked, or pushed aside, I want you to hear me clearly.
00:07:20.894 --> 00:07:23.794
God has not forgotten you, and neither have I.
00:07:23.934 --> 00:07:29.234
That's why I moved everything to our new home on pod page, so you would have
00:07:29.234 --> 00:07:32.794
one place to connect with me, read the devotionals, listen to the podcast,
00:07:33.134 --> 00:07:35.034
and reach out whenever you need to.
00:07:35.194 --> 00:07:40.034
If you want to leave me a message, send an email, or simply find encouragement,
00:07:40.034 --> 00:07:43.714
it's all there at DiaryOfABlackWomanLLC.com.
00:07:43.834 --> 00:07:47.894
And if this podcast has blessed you and you want to support the work I'm doing,
00:07:48.174 --> 00:07:51.754
you'll find a Buy Me, a coffee link on the site as well.
00:07:51.974 --> 00:07:56.154
No pressure, just love and community. Before we leave, I want to speak the word
00:07:56.154 --> 00:07:59.154
that I close with every time because somebody needs this reminder today.
00:07:59.334 --> 00:08:02.094
It comes from Jeremiah 29, 11, 14.
00:08:02.374 --> 00:08:06.894
I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and
00:08:06.894 --> 00:08:11.034
not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future, then you will call upon
00:08:11.034 --> 00:08:14.214
me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.
00:08:14.374 --> 00:08:18.054
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
00:08:18.054 --> 00:08:21.694
I will be found by you, declares the Lord.
00:08:22.074 --> 00:08:26.594
Beloved, God has a plan for your life, a real one, a good one,
00:08:26.594 --> 00:08:31.534
and as long as you keep seeking him, you will find him even from the hidden places.
00:08:31.594 --> 00:08:35.094
I love you. I'm praying for you, and I'll meet you next time.
00:00:10.013 --> 00:00:15.593
Welcome to the Diary of a Black Woman podcast, where we pray bold prayers,
00:00:16.073 --> 00:00:19.953
walk in bold faith, and expect a bold God to show up.
00:00:20.093 --> 00:00:25.673
I'm your host, Connie Morris, and we open every episode with the same unshakable
00:00:25.673 --> 00:00:29.613
confidence Jabez had in 1 Chronicles 4.10.
00:00:29.953 --> 00:00:35.613
Lord, bless me indeed, enlarge my territory, let your hand be with me,
00:00:35.973 --> 00:00:39.973
keep me from evil, and keep me from causing pain. And the Bible says,
00:00:40.493 --> 00:00:41.813
God granted his request.
00:00:42.033 --> 00:00:45.573
So if you're here today, get ready, because we're praying big,
00:00:45.953 --> 00:00:51.813
believing big, and walking in everything God promised. Let's begin.
00:01:01.506 --> 00:01:05.866
Hello and welcome back to Diary of a Black Woman podcast. I'm your host Connie
00:01:05.866 --> 00:01:11.966
Morris and today we're continuing our series of Living in Sin City and today's
00:01:11.966 --> 00:01:13.786
title is Living in Sin City,
00:01:13.886 --> 00:01:17.066
The Cost of Refusing the Kool-Aid.
00:01:17.406 --> 00:01:21.586
So, so far we talked about living in Sin City, drinking the Kool-Aid,
00:01:21.686 --> 00:01:26.246
and how discernment is dying as people believe lies.
00:01:26.566 --> 00:01:30.466
Today we need to talk about something else because this is where most people
00:01:30.466 --> 00:01:32.806
quietly exit the conversation.
00:01:33.166 --> 00:01:37.446
When you refuse the Kool-Aid, it's going to cost you.
00:01:37.906 --> 00:01:39.986
Most people don't refuse the
00:01:39.986 --> 00:01:45.786
Kool-Aid because they can't. They refuse the Kool-Aid because they won't.
00:01:46.106 --> 00:01:48.206
Refusal is never free.
00:01:48.666 --> 00:01:51.906
Scripture never pretends obedience is sheep.
00:01:52.426 --> 00:02:00.106
Jesus says it plainly, if anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself,
00:02:00.646 --> 00:02:05.166
take up his cross, and follow me, Matthew 16, 24.
00:02:05.586 --> 00:02:08.046
This is not symbolic language.
00:02:08.606 --> 00:02:12.086
That's cost me language.
00:02:12.726 --> 00:02:18.846
Crosses are not comfortable. They are public, painful, and misunderstood.
00:02:19.406 --> 00:02:23.606
So when people say, I believe but refuse to change behavior,
00:02:23.986 --> 00:02:26.606
that's what they're really saying.
00:02:26.846 --> 00:02:29.786
I believe until it costs me something.
00:02:30.346 --> 00:02:35.966
Daniel refusal was quiet but expensive. Daniel didn't stand on the stage.
00:02:36.086 --> 00:02:37.926
He didn't preach against Babylon.
00:02:38.266 --> 00:02:42.606
He didn't organize resistance. He simply said no.
00:02:43.006 --> 00:02:49.846
Daniel 8 tells us that Daniel resolved not to defile himself with royal food and wine.
00:02:50.086 --> 00:02:52.566
That refusal put him.
00:02:53.395 --> 00:03:00.095
Risk. Excuse me. Food was tied to education, status, favor, and advancement.
00:03:00.615 --> 00:03:07.395
Refusing meant standing out, being questioned, and possibly being removed or even killed.
00:03:07.815 --> 00:03:12.435
Refusal always isolates you before it protects you.
00:03:13.315 --> 00:03:19.435
Sin City punishes non-participation. Here's something Sin City doesn't say out
00:03:19.435 --> 00:03:21.895
loud. You don't have to sin.
00:03:22.335 --> 00:03:27.715
You have to agree. And when you don't agree, you become a problem.
00:03:28.155 --> 00:03:35.915
Jesus warns us, if the world hates you, know that it hated me before it hated you. John 15, 18.
00:03:36.235 --> 00:03:41.715
Not because you're loud, not because you're aggressive, but because you won't blend.
00:03:42.455 --> 00:03:46.655
Refusal exposes deception without saying a word.
00:03:47.115 --> 00:03:50.895
So why do most people choose the Kool-Aid? Let's be honest.
00:03:51.075 --> 00:03:55.595
The Kool-Aid offers belonging, safety, affirmation, ease.
00:03:56.155 --> 00:04:05.135
Scripture explains it clearly. They love the praise of men more than the praise of God. John 12, 43.
00:04:05.535 --> 00:04:11.395
That verse is uncomfortable because it's accurate. Refusal costs.
00:04:12.291 --> 00:04:15.551
Approval. And approval is addicting.
00:04:15.751 --> 00:04:20.951
The real cost for being misunderstood. When you refuse the Kool-Aid,
00:04:21.251 --> 00:04:25.551
people don't say you're holy. They say you're extreme.
00:04:25.851 --> 00:04:28.191
You're judgmental. You think you're better.
00:04:28.511 --> 00:04:34.511
You're stuck in the past. But Jesus says, blessed are you when people revile
00:04:34.511 --> 00:04:36.731
you and persecute you and say
00:04:36.731 --> 00:04:42.051
all kinds of evil against you falsely for my name's sake. Matthew 5.11.
00:04:42.431 --> 00:04:50.691
Notice the word falsely. Truth doesn't protect you from misrepresentation.
00:04:50.831 --> 00:04:52.991
Refusal requires pre-decision.
00:04:53.671 --> 00:04:57.631
Daniel didn't decide at the table. He decided before the table.
00:04:58.431 --> 00:05:04.751
That's why scripture used the word resolve. Jesus said, no one having put his
00:05:04.751 --> 00:05:10.471
hand to the plow and looking back, it's fit for the kingdom of God. Luke 9, 62.
00:05:10.831 --> 00:05:16.011
You don't decide holiness mid-pressure. You decide it in advance.
00:05:16.391 --> 00:05:19.231
By refusal, it's still worth it.
00:05:19.891 --> 00:05:23.291
Daniel refused and God responded.
00:05:25.131 --> 00:05:30.711
God gave Daniel favor and compassion in the sight of the chief of Enoch.
00:05:31.376 --> 00:05:36.336
Daniel 1.9. Refusal didn't remove him, it positioned him.
00:05:36.596 --> 00:05:42.616
But scripture is clear, favor, follow, obedient, not compromise.
00:05:43.216 --> 00:05:48.916
And it tells us later in the Bible in Daniel 1.17, to these four young men,
00:05:49.296 --> 00:05:51.916
God gave knowledge and understanding.
00:05:52.396 --> 00:05:59.636
It tells us here that God increase their discernment because compromise did not.
00:06:00.036 --> 00:06:05.416
Sin City tells you you'll miss out, you'll fall behind, you'll regret saying no.
00:06:05.916 --> 00:06:12.056
Scripture answers that lie in Matthew 8.36. What does it profit a man to gain
00:06:12.056 --> 00:06:16.276
the whole world and lose his soul? That's the math.
00:06:16.736 --> 00:06:21.496
Let me say it clearly, refusing the Kool-Aid will cost you relationships,
00:06:21.976 --> 00:06:24.956
opportunities, comfort, and popularity.
00:06:25.276 --> 00:06:32.336
But drinking it will cost you discernment, conviction, spiritual authority, proof.
00:06:32.656 --> 00:06:39.016
And scripture says, choose this day whom you will serve. Joshua 24, 15.
00:06:39.356 --> 00:06:41.136
Neutral is not an option.
00:06:41.956 --> 00:06:46.256
And that is it for today. This is the Tired of Black Women Podcast,
00:06:46.276 --> 00:06:47.696
and I'm your host, Connie Morris.
00:06:48.296 --> 00:06:53.336
Next time, we're going to talk about what happens when you refuse and God backs you publicly.
00:06:53.976 --> 00:06:58.616
Stay alert, stay active, and I'll see you on the next episode.
00:07:10.374 --> 00:07:14.814
Family, thank you for spending this time with me today. To every woman listening
00:07:14.814 --> 00:07:20.594
who has ever felt hidden, overlooked, or pushed aside, I want you to hear me clearly.
00:07:20.894 --> 00:07:23.794
God has not forgotten you, and neither have I.
00:07:23.934 --> 00:07:29.234
That's why I moved everything to our new home on pod page, so you would have
00:07:29.234 --> 00:07:32.794
one place to connect with me, read the devotionals, listen to the podcast,
00:07:33.134 --> 00:07:35.034
and reach out whenever you need to.
00:07:35.194 --> 00:07:40.034
If you want to leave me a message, send an email, or simply find encouragement,
00:07:40.034 --> 00:07:43.714
it's all there at DiaryOfABlackWomanLLC.com.
00:07:43.834 --> 00:07:47.894
And if this podcast has blessed you and you want to support the work I'm doing,
00:07:48.174 --> 00:07:51.754
you'll find a Buy Me, a coffee link on the site as well.
00:07:51.974 --> 00:07:56.154
No pressure, just love and community. Before we leave, I want to speak the word
00:07:56.154 --> 00:07:59.154
that I close with every time because somebody needs this reminder today.
00:07:59.334 --> 00:08:02.094
It comes from Jeremiah 29, 11, 14.
00:08:02.374 --> 00:08:06.894
I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and
00:08:06.894 --> 00:08:11.034
not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future, then you will call upon
00:08:11.034 --> 00:08:14.214
me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.
00:08:14.374 --> 00:08:18.054
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
00:08:18.054 --> 00:08:21.694
I will be found by you, declares the Lord.
00:08:22.074 --> 00:08:26.594
Beloved, God has a plan for your life, a real one, a good one,
00:08:26.594 --> 00:08:31.534
and as long as you keep seeking him, you will find him even from the hidden places.
00:08:31.594 --> 00:08:35.094
I love you. I'm praying for you, and I'll meet you next time.