The Single Life According to the Bible: Singleness as a Calling

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Welcome to the Diary of a Black Woman podcast, where we pray bold prayers,

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walk in bold faith, and expect a bold God to show up.

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I'm your host, Connie Morris, and we open every episode with the same unshakable

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confidence Jabez had in 1 Chronicles 4.10.

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Lord, bless me indeed, enlarge my territory, let your hand be with me,

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keep me from evil, and keep me from causing pain. And the Bible says,

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God granted his request.

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So if you're here today, get ready, because we're praying big,

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believing big, and walking in everything God promised. Let's begin.

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Well, welcome to the Diary of Black Women podcast. I'm your host,

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Connie Morris, and we are starting a new series titled The Single Life According to the Bible.

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And what does that mean to you, right? What does single life mean to you?

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And so our foundational scripture is found in 1 Corinthians 6 and 7.

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So there is a quiet pressure that follows singleness. And what's that quiet pressure?

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It's that pressure that forced to aid being a relationship or.

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Be married. But sometimes in single people lives, it's a nagging thing.

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It doesn't always speak loudly, but it's presented in conversations,

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in cultures, and even in your own heart.

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It whispers that something is missing, that something has not yet happened,

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that life has not fully begun.

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And so what do most women do? We spend our single life looking for the perfect

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mate. when the Bible says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing. So let's continue here.

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Yet when we turn to Scripture, we are met with truth that confronts every one of our assumptions.

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The world tells us that singleness is a negative thing, but God says this,

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singleness is not presented as a delay.

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It's not described as a deficiency. It's not even treated as a form of punishment.

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Instead, the writings of the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 6 and 7,

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that we are given a different perspective, one that is both sobering and freeing.

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But Paul speaks about relationship, and he speaks about ownership.

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The Bible tells us here in 1 Corinthians 6, verse 19 to 20, You are not your

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own. You were bought at a price.

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Therefore, honor God with your body.

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This truth establishes the foundation for everything that follows.

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Singleness is not about independence or responsibility. It's about belonging fully to God.

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I watch some of these dating shows and the Christian woman will come out and say, I want a godly man.

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But yet you're looking at her. She got all her breasts out.

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If her skirt could be a little shorter, it would be a shirt.

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Does that show that God has ownership of you, right? So not a negative thing, just an observation.

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You know, when we fully belong to God, and it's like being fully belong to your

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husband, do you walk out with any part of your women, women, female parts showing?

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Say, I just want a Christian man, but yet you're not radiating the Christianity

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or the love that God has already has you kept.

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You know, many times we don't understand, like maybe the Muslim culture,

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not saying that it's right, but their women don't walk outside without everything is fully covered.

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Sometimes even their lips, like their face, only thing you can see is their

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eyes. Is that good or bad?

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The only person that can see her hair down and her beautiful woman-shaped body is only her husband.

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I mean, that item that they wear is so big, you don't know what's going on underneath there.

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And you don't really need to know because that was for her husband's eyes only.

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However, in this season where the believer is called to walk in discipline,

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clarity, and devotion, not distraction, compromise, or confusion.

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Talk those even further and describe singleness as a gift. Each of you.

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Has your own gift from God. One has this gift, another has that one. 1 Corinthians 7.7.

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This challenges the mindset that singleness is something to escape.

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Instead, it reveals that singleness is something to steward.

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In a world that promotes constant connection, emotional entanglement,

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and instant gratification, the call of scripture is different.

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It caused a single believer to honor God with their body, to walk in self-control,

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to remain faithful in their current season, and to pursue undivided devotion to God.

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Matthew 6.33 tells us to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.

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This devotional is invitation to return to that foundation.

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It's not built on culture, trends, or personal opinions. It's built on the Word of God.

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It will challenge assumption, confront compromise, and offer clarity where confusion has prevailed.

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Because the truth is this, singleness can be wasted.

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Or it can be maximized. And the difference is not in your relationship status.

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It is how you respond to what God has already given you. This is not a waiting season. It is a calling.

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How would you respond if God has said being single is a calling?

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We know Paul seemed to enjoy his singleness, but he was so busy about God's business.

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This is only the introduction of our single life, the biblical way.

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But I want to continue with this introduction. And it's titled,

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Returning to God's Design.

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In every generation, there is a tension between culture and scripture.

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Culture speaks loudly. It shapes expectation. It defines timeline and presents

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its own version of what life will look like, especially when it comes to relationship.

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It tells us love should be pursued quickly. Connection should be constant or

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even instant, and both single is something to fix.

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Through the media, social platforms, and even modern dating dynamics.

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Relationships are often reduced to preferences, conveniences, and feelings.

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The focus becomes who chooses, who is chosen, and how quickly something can develop.

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But when we turn to the Word of God, We are not given a cultural model.

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We are given a kingdom design.

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Proverbs 18, 22 tells us that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

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The scripture alone shifts that framework. It reminds us that relationships

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were never meant to be built on confusion, performance, or imbalance.

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God's design is intentional,

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ordered, and purposeful. You may have unknowingly adopted patterns that are

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out of alignment, such as an entertaining connection without clarity,

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forming emotional ties without commitment,

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and seeking validation instead of walking in identity.

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The result is often frustration, confusion, and spiritual exhaustion.

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That is why returning to Scripture is essential.

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The Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 6 and 7 does not begin with romance.

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He begins with responsibility.

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He addresses the body before the relationship, discipline before desire,

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devotion before distraction.

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This order matters because without a foundation in God, even the pursuit of

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something good like marriage can lead to compromise.

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Proverbs 3.5 tells us that trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not

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to your own understanding.

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This devotional is not about rejecting relationships.

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It's about understanding them correctly by first understanding singleness.

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It is about removing the pressures to perform, to pursue, or compare and replacing

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it with a call to walk in holiness, live with intention, and align fully with God's design.

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The singleness is not separate from your spiritual life. It is a central part of it.

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And when it is understood through scripture, it becomes clear.

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God is not withholding something from you. He is developing something within you.

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What if God was to come into your life right now? People say,

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I want to come in and check out your life right now.

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What would he find you're doing?

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Would you be pretty much a happy single, a miserable single?

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What does your wardrobe look like? If he says, hey, I'm going to call Susie.

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I just come to visit you today.

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I got something planned for you. But before I can give you this gift or this purpose.

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I want to just take a walk through your life. I've been watching you,

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but I want to really come down and see you.

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And I want to walk through your closet. I want to walk through.

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You know, what your bedroom looked like. I want to spend a day with you and

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see what do you do all day.

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Would that be a welcoming event for you? Or would that be like,

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oh Lord, can you come back tomorrow?

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Let's talk about cultural reality check.

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When culture redefines singleness, before we step into what the Bible says about

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singleness, we must first acknowledge what the world is saying and what many are living.

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Because the truth is, singleness today has been shaped more by culture than by scripture.

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We are surrounded by images, conversations, and behaviors that present a version

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of a single life that is far removed from God's design.

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Dating has become entertainment, relationships have become transactional,

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and the identity has become something to be created rather than lived.

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There are platforms and shows where attraction is reduced to quick decision,

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where people are accepted or rejected based on appearance, status,

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or preference in a matter of moments.

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What is presented as empowerment often becomes a cycle of comparison.

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Performance, and surface-level connection.

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And at the same time, there is a growing normalization of lifestyles that prioritize

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attention over integrity and gain over godly character.

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Some are traveling, networking, aligning themselves with environments that require

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compromise, whether in behavior, presentation, or values, to maintain a certain lifestyle or image.

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Others feel pressure to alter their appearance in order to complete a culture

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that rewards visibility, enhancing the body beyond its natural form,

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altering facial features to match trends, and dressing in ways that draw attention

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rather than reflect modesty.

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1 Peter 3, chapter 3, verses 3 and 4 tells us that your beauty should not come

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from outward adornment.

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Rather, it should be that of your inner self. What was once considered a private

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has become public. What was once sacred has become casual.

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And what was once guided by wisdom is now driven by validation,

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visibility, and temporary gain.

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Even in everyday dating, the lines are blurred.

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Emotional connection formed without commitment. Time spent in

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close unguarded settings that lead to compromise.

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Standards lower in the name of not missing out.

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Romans 12, 2 tells us, do not conform to the patterns of this world,

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but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

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The danger is not just what is seen, it is what is slowly accepted.

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Because over time, when it's repeated, it becomes normalized.

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What we see in social media or on television, we accept it as that's the normal way to do it.

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But what is normalized begin to feel right, even when it's not aligned with God.

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You know, they might mention it

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in a casual, say, I'm looking for a godly person, or are you a Christian?

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They ask the question, but yet you can see their behavior is,

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that's what they're supposed to say, but that's not what they're really looking for.

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That's why we must pause, not to condemn, but to discern, not to judge, but to realign.

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Because if we do not allow scripture to define singleness, culture will do it for us.

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And culture does not require discipline, holiness, or accountability, but God does.

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This is where we turn back to the word, not for opinion, but for truth,

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not for trends, but for foundation.

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So let's begin our study on the single life, the biblical way.

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And that's what we will do in our next.

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And so that was a lot to chew on, but let's chew on it.

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Let's get it right so that we can fulfill the purpose that God has for us and

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that we will not be deceived, distracted, that we will have great discernment in knowing who is for us.

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Because even in these relationships that are single relationships,

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people are being unalived at a higher rate.

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Things are happening in the world that God wants us to be protected.

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I'm not sitting here with a holy halo above my head regarding like I didn't

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do any of those things I mentioned, you know, but we are guilty of it and we

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all can actually get it right.

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And we all can enjoy our single life, enjoy the purpose we have as being single,

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but also set our heart on heaven and not on the things of this world so that

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God can bring together, if that's what you want,

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the perfect mate, because you are living the life for God. and people see you.

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Now, we think that, you know, we can do things, but we know that in our hearts it's not right.

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And we can look at someone and we can tell that they're a totally godly woman

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or a godly man, but are we that reflection?

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And so our next episode will be about your body is not your own.

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And it's found in 1 Corinthians 6, verses 12 to 20.

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We're going to dive into that on our next episode. so I'll see you there bye bye.

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Family, thank you for spending this time with me today. To every woman listening

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who has ever felt hidden, overlooked, or pushed aside, I want you to hear me clearly.

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God has not forgotten you, and neither have I.

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That's why I moved everything to our new home on pod page, so you would have

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one place to connect with me, read the devotionals, listen to the podcast,

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and reach out whenever you need to.

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If you want to leave me a message, send an email, or simply find encouragement,

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it's all there at diaryofablackwomanllc.com.

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And if this podcast has blessed you and you want to support the work I'm doing,

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you'll find a buy me, a coffee link on the site as well.

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No pressure, just love and community. Before we leave, I want to speak the word

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that I close with every time because somebody needs this reminder today.

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It comes from Jeremiah 29 11 14.

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I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and

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not to harm you, plans to give you hope in a future, then you will call upon

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me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.

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You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

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I will be found by you, declares the Lord.

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Beloved, God has a plan for your life, a real one, a good one,

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and as long as you keep seeking him, you will find him even from the hidden places. I love you.

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I'm praying for you, and I'll meet you next time.