Combatting Jealousy and Bitterness: Lessons from Cain and Abel

0:00 Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Diary of a Black Woman podcast. I'm your host, Connie Morris, and I'm glad you've joined me for our second episode in our series, The Games We Play with God. Today, we're talking about the danger of jealousy and bitterness, a game that has been played since the beginning of time. Our story takes place in Genesis 4, where we meet two brothers, Cain and Abel, and see how unchecked jealousy and bitterness can lead to devastating consequences.

0:40 If you ever struggle with comparison, envy, or unresolved anger, this episode will speak to your heart and challenge you to surrender those feelings to God. So let's start with the story of Cain and Abel. So go with me to Genesis 4. I'm going to read from verses 2 through 8. And it says, Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time, Cain brought some of the fruit of the soil as an offering to the Lord.

1:22 Abel also brought an offering, fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering, he did not look with favor. So Cain was furious and his face was downcast. So we see here that Cain's anger and jealousy towards Abel weren't just feelings. They were seeds that grew into bitterness and ultimately violence. Instead of examining his own heart and correcting his offering, Cain allowed his jealousy to consume him, leading to the first murder in human history.

2:05 Jealousy unchecked leads to bitterness, and bitterness unchecked leads to destruction. This is powerful. Are there any areas in your life where jealousy or bitterness is taking root? I mean, is it enough that it can actually, it's so rooted inside of your heart that you can actually kill someone, right? And so that's, you want to check that. We see here that jealousy often begins with comparison. Jane compared God's response to Abel's offering with his response to his own.

2:50 Instead of seeing it as an opportunity for growth, Cain let his comparison turn into resentment. You know, as I'm reading this over, I'm noticing where do we get a lot of comparison, jealousy, and bitterness from? A lot of times it comes from in our family. It can come from where we work. It can also come from on our social media where we're doing all this comparison and contrasting. and that can create this little ugh in our heart. And so we want to kind of check that. Why do we feel that way? We see here with Cain and Abel, Cain's simple response could have said, why don't you want my offering?

3:37 Cain brought what was a normal offering throughout the Bible. It was always some type of animal, right? It was rarely ever any type of, you know. You know, vegetables or fruits, right? So he's brought fruit from the soil, but he had a knowledge of what to bring because he probably learned it from their parents. So we see right away that Abel had a way that he wanted to do things and it wasn't right before God. So he had a way that he wanted to make it work. He said, I'm just going to bring God any old thing.

4:19 And God said, I'm not taking any other thing. And since he didn't take any other thing, we can see that start to take root in his life, right? And so a lot of times we need to check ourselves because a lot of times we can make those comparisons or we on the outside looking in and we don't know what God has already told a lot of people or even our friends, even our parents, even our children, even the people that are close to us and what they are supposed to be doing. And so when they begin to get angry at you or angry at God, first thing we should ask them is, what was the last thing God told you? Having that conversation.

5:04 And then, hey, why don't you go do that? So Proverbs 14, 30 says, A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bone. So we see jealousy often begins with comparison. Cain compared God's response to Abel's offering with his response to his home. Instead of seeing it as an opportunity for growth, Cain let his comparison turn into resentment. Jealousy doesn't just affect our emotions. It impacts our spiritual and physical well-being. It robs us of peace and blinds us of the blessing we already have.

5:48 How long would it take able to run and get a first fruit of a first life? Of an animal and just bring it to God right away. I mean, how long would that take? Like the Bible says, we know what to do. God has already put it in our hearts on what is right and what is wrong. And so we can always make it right with God. But when we don't make it right with God, our heart begins to get hard and it creates this jealousy or bitterness. And when that takes root, it's just not good.

6:28 What are the dangers of bitterness? When jealousy isn't addressed, it grows into bitterness, a deep-seated resentment that poisons our hearts and relationships. The Bible warns about this in Hebrews 12 verse 15. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. And when the Bible tells you that a bitter root can grow, you want to put that circle and underline it, highlight it, make it a poster. You want to just put it there, right? You want to put it in front that a bitter root can cause trouble and defile many.

7:13 Cain's bitterness didn't just affect him. It led to the loss of his brother's life and his own exile. Bitterness isolates us from others and more importantly from God? How has bitterness impacted your relationship with others or with God? How can we make it right with God? He's going to tell you, that's not how I want it. You might be giving him any kind of offering, any kind of time. You might be coming into the throne room with your cell phone on and answering it, answering a text, and then you leave and you have even said not a word to the Lord. And then you wonder why your sister prayer is getting answered, but your prayer is not getting answered.

7:56 You get bitterness and jealousy and envy in your heart, and now you're mad at her, but you're not doing what's required for you. And so a lot of times you always have to kind of check yourself. Check what's going on in your heart. Are you doing what is required for you to get where you need to get with God to get your prayers answered, to grow your relationship with God. Sometimes it's not even about answer prayer. I think as a new Christian, it's about answer prayer because we come in such a dire need of something. But as your relationship grows, it's just getting in his presence sometimes can be enough. So let's Let's talk about overcoming jealousy and bitterness before it takes root, according to Hebrews 12, 15. I'm going to read that again.

8:45 So see to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Here are three practical steps. Number one, examine your heart. Ask God to reveal areas where jealousy or bitterness may be hiding. You know, jealousy and bitterness, there's some creepy little monsters, you know, they're like that. They kind of creep in, you know, and you don't realize that they're in until you go like, ah, I can't stand her. And then you realize that it could be jealousy. It could be bitterness. You didn't get that promotion or jealousy because, you know, it could just little bitty stuff, right?

9:30 But the Bible says in Psalms 139, 23, search me, God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. And so when those little jealousy, bitterness, let's call them, I call them little monsters because they grow. They can grow real big in our hearts. Especially when you add the comparison monster with it so it can grow real big God has something when you realize like I said, when you get past the point of always asking God for something just to get in his presence just to be with him you'll find out that God has something for you just for you and it fits you just perfectly and so you don't even have to be worried you don't have to even be jealous, compare or even be bitter have bitterness about someone else's promotion car, house, that's theirs.

10:26 They got it however God gave it to them. He has something for you. But whenever you start comparing and trying to compete for that thing, there's going to be some problems and problems, Because you're trying to do it in your own will, your own way, and you're leaving God out. So check your heart. Check your heart. Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. And I'm just, that's from experience. You get all, and it's kind of like, you're just mad. And you can actually, you know, get so jealous and bitter and comparison driven that you can actually be so upset you can go punch somebody in the face. You ever been that mad?

11:08 That's not good, right? It's nothing they did. They're just doing what they do. You over there are steaming. And so examine your heart. Keep checking it. Lord, check my heart. Check my heart. Check my heart. What do you have for me? What do you have for me? Why am I feeling this way? Why am I feeling this way? And then Lord will reveal to you that it's just anxiety. You're so afraid that you're that fear of missing out that you think that's the last one. That promotion was the last one. right? That last, that's the last one. Let's go number two, celebrate other successes. Here we go. That'll help you. Instead of comparing, practice gratitude for what God has given you and celebrate the blessings of others' lives.

11:52 When you can get that attitude of gratitude for somebody else, the jealousy monsters, bitterness monsters, they leave screaming because they have nowhere to build. There's no root. Lab is in the heart. They can't build on that soil, right? They can build on a stony heart, but they can't build on a heart of love and gratitude. It just can't stay in your heart. So Romans 12, 15 says, rejoice with those who rejoice. It might be hard at first, if you're so used to being jealous and bitter. It might be hard at first, but when you begin to rejoice in others, rejoice with others, you watch God will turn it around for you. So do a little practice.

12:41 I mean, genuine. Don't do the fake stuff because people can read that, but genuinely rejoice. Practice at home before you go. Practice at home. Get into an attitude where you can actually rejoice for others. Number three, forgive and release. Forgiveness isn't just for that other person. It frees you from chains of bitterness. You see that chain of bitterness holds you back, Colossians 3.13 reads, it says, bear with each other and forgive one another. If any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord forgave you.

13:23 Let it go. Why do we hold on to it? It just, it really rots you out. You ever, I don't know if you notice this, but as you get older, If you do have any of that unforgiveness and bitterness and jealousy in your heart, it ages you bad. It has no place to go. It just sits in your bones and in your heart, you know, and you just don't want that. So I will say, let it go. So how do you let go? Overcome jealousy and bitterness. You examine your heart, celebrate other successes and forgive and release. So let's declare these truths together and break free from jealousy and bitterness.

14:11 I decree that I will not let jealousy take root in my heart, for I am content with God's blessings in my life. I decree that I will celebrate others' success and trust God's timing for my own. And I decree that bitterness has no place in my heart for I am walking in forgiveness and freedom. So this week is a homework assignment. Take time to reflect on areas where jealousy and bitterness may be present in your life. If you go, there ain't no jealousy. I don't got that happening. Ask the Lord. Ask the Holy Ghost. He would say, you know, you know, you could, and you ask him and then you'll go into the area, maybe workplace, maybe watch a video.

14:57 I don't know what's going to trigger it, but you're going to say, he's going to show you right there, right there. There it is. Then write down one step to take to address those feelings, whether it's praying for someone, celebrating someone, just trying to letting it go, forgiveness and reconciling a broken relationship. Whatever it takes this week, let it go. Another way you can challenge yourself is to have a gratitude journal. You know, each day write down three things that you're thankful for. And so when you're thankful, have a thankful heart, you're not really kind of focusing on somebody else, right? A gratitude of gratitude journal would be great for you.

15:40 It'll keep you focused on what God's doing in your life and you're not so caught up in somebody else's life. So let's close this out with prayer. Heavenly Father, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being the source of all good things in our lives. Help us to guard our hearts against jealousy and bitterness and teach us to celebrate the blessings you've given to others. Fill us with gratitude, peace, and ability to forgive. We surrender our hearts to you, trusting that your plans for us are good. In Jesus' name, amen. So I'd like to thank you for joining me on this episode of The Games We Play With God.

16:25 If today's message resonates with you, share with the friends, subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss the next episode where we will be talking about the destructive power of pride, games number three. Until next time, guard your heart, walk in gratitude, and be blessed.