Faith on the Go: Ep9: Breaking Free from the Past: A Journey Forward

0:00 Hello and welcome back to Diary of a Black Woman podcast. I'm your host Connie Morris and we're continuing on the series of The Curse of Familiarity with our Faith on the Go message. And today's title is Looked Back and Lost It All, Story of Lot's Wife and the Danger of Longing for What God Told You to Leave. Welcome back to Faith on the Go with your host Connie Morris where we keep it real, raw, and rooted in the word. Today's episode of The Curse of Familiarity brings us face-to-face with a woman who escaped destruction but couldn't detach from what she came from.

0:45 Can I say that again, people out there in podcast land? She escaped destruction but couldn't detach from where she came from. We're talking about Lot's wife. This is episode nine, I believe. Look back and lost it all. Lot's wife and the danger of longing for what God told you to leave. I feel like a mic drop, but I ain't dropping this mic. Because sometimes the issue isn't getting out. It's what you're still looking at after God already delivered you.

1:26 I'm going to have to say that again because sometimes we miss it. We miss it because sometimes the issue isn't getting out. It's what you're still looking at after God already delivered you. So let's talk about it. This is faith on the go. Real talk, real growth, wherever you are. Let's go to Genesis 19, chapter 19, verses 15 to 17. In verse 26, with the coming of dawn, the angels urged Lot, saying, Hurry, take your wife and two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away when the city is punished. As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, Flee for your lives, don't look back, and don't stop anywhere in the plain.

2:18 But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of sorrow. Okay, check this out. All that excitement, all that noise, all this is going on. And lo and behold, the angels are rescuing you from what? Danger. They're telling you probably loud in the angelic voice that they have to don't look back probably holding your head too you know don't look back because the angels come from heaven and think about this the angels are telling you don't look back and then the first thing you do is what they told you not to do is look back, She was almost free. She was outside the city. She had escaped judgment, but her heart was still attached to what God was trying to destroy.

3:15 That's what familiarity does. It convinced you that what's behind you is worth more than what's ahead. Let's talk about it. Oh my gosh. How many of us, and I can say I put my hand up had went back when God told you not to go back and we thought it would be better because that person might have changed you know they sweet talked to you and you think oh my gosh okay I'm going to do it I'm going to give you another chance and you go back you were delivered you were set free, you were done you prayed and fasted you got delivered but you went back And it was hell part two.

4:03 It was hell part two. And you just said like, okay, Lord, if you deliver me this time, I won't go back. And you didn't go back that second time. You were like, okay, I learned my lesson on that one. But people do that not just in relationship. They do that with, come on, addictions is real. It could be drug, alcohol, sex. It's real. We get free. And then we somehow people, places, and I call it events. People, places, and events. And those can be some triggers that can keep you, I call it, doing a lot's wife.

4:44 Looking back. Keep looking back. Keep looking back. But this punishment was so real that the Lord said, if you like it that much, freeze frame. I'm going to keep you there. You're going to be stuck. Does anyone in this podcast listening feel like they stuck because they keep looking back? They can't seem to let it go? Interesting, right? God's like, I'm trying to free you, trying to let you let that go. Look for God is a future God. He, when he says, let it go, I mean, he's got something better. That's in the background. That's your past. It don't matter anymore.

5:26 Yes, you don't know what's in the front. You don't know what's in your future, but he does. So, I mean, you have to stay close to Jesus, right? So we get too familiar with our past that we don't want to let it go. And see what happens here. We see that her heart was still attached to what God was trying to destroy. And many times, you know, we see it on the news. Sometimes that she didn't get destroyed in the fire with the, you know, they were destroying Sodom and Gomorrah. She got destroyed outside.

6:06 She got free and then died. How many people of your friends may have been hurt or injured or even killed in car accidents or in fluke accidents because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time? I know I have friends like that who died at the wrong place and at the wrong time. They were just they just were they refused to let it go went back to the club and the and something happened at the club they were killed you know got in the car intoxicated was killed you know hanging out at the at the spot you know people have places they hang outside too long i mean back in the day was like a chicken place or after our restaurant gas station, sometimes people just need to go home you know so when you're young you're doing that right Sometimes people are old doing it. Let me keep it real.

6:57 And so, but you left the bar that was dangerous and now you out in the streets and then the streets still just as dangerous, but yet you die in the streets. I'm a retired police officer, so I've seen some stuff. So you get free from one and then you die in another, right? And so I'm not going to park it at much longer. But her heart was still attached. Where is your heart still attached to some stuff that God is trying to let go of? You know, what is it that you keep trying to make, pray for somebody? And God's saying, let it go. I'll take care of it. But we're like, no.

7:40 Especially us parents. Our parents, we see our child just acting up. They're just acting up. And we want to save them from themselves. And God says, I have them. I have them. Let me have them. But when we do that, we see that they're getting worse. And we go, okay, I'll take them back now, Lord, because I see that you're not doing your part. Come on now, y'all. We know as parents, we do that. And he's like, Connie, I told you I got him. I got him. He's like, no, you let him hurt himself. He says, I have him. I have her. And so when we began to trust, I did that. I did that so many times.

8:24 Give him to God and take him back. Give him to God and take him back. But I released him to God one final time. I did. And they're doing fine. They're doing fine, you know. And so we have to begin to trust God that they won't be destroyed, right? So that's what familiarity does. It convinces us that what's behind you is more than what's ahead. Begin to let that junk go. Sometimes it's your friends. You think they're your friends, you know. If you think they're your friends, sometimes you gotta I let that go too. If they truly are friends, they'll be around if you let them go.

9:05 You know, if you let them go, they'll be like, that's Connie. She's going to be back in a minute. You know, they'll let you go. People, I always say this, you know, when you're a follower, you don't know what the leader is up to. And sometimes the followers end up getting hurt. Sometimes they die. But if you're the leader, you know where you're going. And so you can always find a way of escape quicker than being a follower. I don't know why I'm on that, but let's move on. So the curse of familiarity. Last wife wasn't longing for the will of God. She was longing for the comfort of what she used to know. How many know that when God gets ready to change you, something about you, he's going to change first your situation?

9:53 And so if you're doing something that you ain't got no business doing and you're praying, Lord, help me, help me, he's going to first separate you from your friends. That's the first thing he's going to do. So that might either, A, if he got to put you in jail or do something to separate you from your frenemies. He's going to have to do something to separate you. He might move you. You might get a job that will relocate you to another state, another country. He's going to separate you. He's going to have to isolate you where you only can depend on him, right, only, right? And so that's that separation so he can get to know you, so you can get to know him. But for here, these angels came to deliver Lot and his wife.

10:43 It's interesting that we don't know Lot's wife's name. Interesting. The Bible does that to some people who don't live long, right? Lot's wife. We don't know her name. We wonder why didn't she give her a name, right? Because we knew that she was going to do something like this, maybe. I don't know. Lot's wife. Let's keep going. She was longing for comfort. Many times when God's going to do something in our lives, first thing he's going to do is remove you. Second thing he's going to probably do is make you very uncomfortable. And that's why we go cling back to what we know that's familiar, right?

11:30 So if you already know, like, oh man, uncomfortable. And so what we do, we'll just go hang around, go back to our friends. And that's why we stay in some of our bad habits because we don't like that uncomfortable feeling. We don't like that alone feeling, so we'll go back. We'll go back to the vomit, to the dog dung, right? We know it's not good, but we'd rather go there than be alone and then suffer than be by ourselves with Jesus. We see here that Sodom was toxic, and God made that clear, right? But her familiarity with dysfunction made a second-guess deliverance.

12:14 We get comfortable in toxic relationships. We get comfortable in dysfunction. And so we don't want to change because we're comfortable in that dysfunction. And we don't really realize how dysfunction that we are until we actually start to spend time with the Lord. I'm not saying I am whole and holy, but I'm better than I was. I'm better than I was. Because we don't realize that where we was is poisonous. And it could be some church folks, too. I'm not saying that that can be very dysfunctional sometimes, right?

12:57 That can be very dysfunctional sometimes. But her familiarity with dysfunction made her second guess her deliverance because she wanted to stay. When everybody's doing it, it don't seem like it's dysfunctional. It doesn't seem like it's toxic. Am I right? But when you get away from it for a season, you realize that it was toxic that it was dysfunctional right so let's look at let's take a look and she lost it all so just and one look just one look just one look the angel said do not look and the way i was talking in that tone they probably was serious god probably told them make sure they don't look back and so the angel probably spoke in the same tone he heard God says, make sure that they don't look back.

13:49 So let's see. And she lost it all, even her life. So you deliver from that relationship, but you keep scrolling their page. You're still going back. Why are you scrolling their page? Delete it. Delete their name off your phone. God's doing something new. Delete the name. Delete the whole thing. I've done that. Got married. And then all of a sudden, he friended me. I'm like, whoa, but instead of me friending him, I'm checking out his page. And then I was like, delete, because remember, why are you, we divorced. There's no need for me to be your friend. We are now divorced.

14:31 So let's not do that. Let me not do that. Because now that what I thought was a good relationship, I realized once I was away from it, it was not a good relationship. It was toxic and it was dysfunctional. You get what I'm saying? But then why do those dysfunctional people always want to come back and see what you're doing? So I deleted my whole Facebook page. You don't see me giving you Facebook information. I deleted that whole page because too many dysfunctional people, familiar people. I just wanted to give it a little more time. I put it out there, had a Facebook page. And...

15:13 And I was finding out everybody was finding me who I didn't want to find me. And so I was like, oh, let's get rid of that Facebook page for a while. You know, let's just close it out. I started up in another year or two. Maybe they come up with something else besides Facebook. Okay? So I'm just preaching from the real. And so you deliver relationship. You keep scrolling the page. Stop. You walked away from an old habit, but keep replaying the good old times. Me and my sister, we had to stop that. We always, we would talk like, remember we used to do this? Remember we used to do that?

15:54 And I said, one day I was like, as the years grew on, I said, remember that wasn't really fun. We didn't have any money. What were we doing out that late? That was not fun. And she said, you know, you're right. And so after a while, those stories ended, you know, because we want to glamorize what we thought was fun. In reality, if we think about it, we were dysfunctional. It was dysfunctional fun. Drinking and hanging out at the bar, half-dressed, was that really fun? What were we doing? We're all on the enemy's territory. Doing what? Drinking his drinks?

16:38 How fun was that supposed to be? But when you're in it, you think you're having a good old time. Come on now. But when you're out of it, when you look back like Lot's wife, you realize that was toxic. And if I go back that way, will I be stuck again? You know, so get free, stay free. Amen. Don't glamorize the past. Let's keep going. You pray for new doors, but you keep reminiscing over the closed one. When God closes doors, as you get older, you realize that he closed those doors for a purpose. And so when he closed a door for you, you know, especially friends, I reached out to some old friends and they said, Connie, you left. You didn't say goodbye.

17:20 And then I'll say, you know what? That door might be closed. Slam and then delete the number. You know, sometimes God closes doors. Sometimes you don't realize that door is closed until you try to open it. Sometimes you can't open it. And sometimes you open it and the response will show you that that door is closed. So don't, you know what, can we get together and just go? No, because he closed it for a reason, right? So when we look back, you can tell that door is closed, that you are in a new season. So I hope that's helping somebody out there. So you're delivered from the relationship, but you keep scrolling their page.

18:02 You walk away from old habit, and you keep replaying the good old times. What was good about the old? Especially if you were not a Christian. Anytime we look back thinking it was good, we learn our lesson, and we move on. And you pray for new doors, but you keep crying over an old door. You don't want that. God got something new. God always says in Isaiah 43, he said, forget the old, I'm doing a new thing. So he don't even like when we go back. He wants to forget the old he wants to do. Forget the old. Stop reminiscing about the old. God is doing a new thing. And yes, a new thing might be uncomfortable, but it's new. It's new.

18:47 So we say we want a breakthrough, but yet we still mourn the bondage. Being free is hard, right, for the first couple years or so, because we're so used to that dysfunction. But stay free for a little bit longer, and then you'll find out that what you are in is bondage. It is toxic. You know, it is toxic. And keep going forward in your new. Don't keep looking back. You know, that's your breakthrough. God said he'll make a way of escape. When you get that opportunity to escape, run, Forrest, run.

19:29 Just go and don't look back. Don't look back. Get a whole new phone number if you have to. Just change your number. Change your address. And let God do a new thing in you. So let's be clear here. Looking back doesn't just slow you down. it freezes your future. You know, you ever notice some people who may have been stuck, they are stuck? You know, nothing wrong with you being a superstar in your high school years, but you're 60 now. What have you done lately? You know, are you mentoring basketball, high school players?

20:09 You know, same way with females. You might have been a beautiful beauty queen, but you're 50 now. You're still beautiful. Can you help the girls put their makeup on? They probably could help you put makeup on, you know, because they'd be putting that makeup on tight and right, right? You know, what can you do to help the next generation instead of looking back on wish you woulda, coulda, coulda? You ever see at some churches, I haven't seen that yet, that the bitter woman in the corner mad and snapping at everybody. You know, she's supposed to be mentoring these young women, sometimes even the young men, for their future. Right.

20:51 So let's go. Okay, so signs you're looking back at Sodom. We covered a lot of this. You romanticize what was toxic. She looked back. She wasn't curious. She was connected. You hesitate when God tells you to move, when you need confirmation for what he's already made clear. That's interesting, too. God's telling you to move, and you're going like, I'm looking for some confirmation. What confirmation do you need when God tells you to go? This confirmation on top of confirmation, you're just hesitating. You're going to do the life thing, and you're going to end up stuck.

21:33 Opportunities come about once in a lifetime. So you get an opportunity to leave the state, but you don't want to leave the state because you don't know nobody in that state. That's me. I'm in Nebraska. My family's not in Nebraska. But I get here, and it's just the greatest place. You know, not the greatest place, but it's a peaceful place, a very productive here, right? Do I need a confirmation? Nope. God gives you these signs all the way up until he tells you to go. You got some things that are happening, like he talks to you, boom, boom, boom, boom. Then when it's time for you to go, boom, that's your confirmation. Go. He's not. You ever had a guy do that to you?

22:16 You know things that get a little uneasy, and then all of a sudden he whispers in your spirit, go. That's your confirmation right there. You done begged to move. Now you're moving, and now you need another confirmation. Come on now, Lot's wife. Get to moving. Get to stepping. This is your chance to be free, because you don't know what's going to happen if you hesitate. He's got a safe place for you. get to moving. Number three, you're more nostalgic than expected. You miss the past more than you trust the future. We talked about that. You ignore simple instructions. Don't look back. That's all they said. You miss the simple instruction.

22:58 What happens when you miss the simple instruction? You get judged and you get stuck permanently. Let's go. Lost wife didn't die in Sodom. She died on the way out. Don't let that be your story this year, that you died on the way out. Don't let one glance back at your old life cost you the next move of God. When God says go forward, don't flirt with the familiar. I shared a story earlier in the podcast about me going back to an ex-boyfriend. I learned a lesson from that, and I made a statement for my life.

23:40 I said, I don't go backwards. I don't go backwards. I'm only going forward from that point on. And at that time, I wasn't a Christian. But that statement has kept me from being a lot's wife. It has kept me out of toxic relationship. It kept me not repeating cycles in my life. That when you get to a certain point, you have to determine that once God delivers you from a spot, that you can't go back. You can't go back. Deliver you from alcohol, then as you delivered. Don't go sapling, talking about his happy hour time, to stay away from it.

24:22 If he delivers you, you are free. Walk in that freedom. Because remember, last wife died on the way out. It could be your last time. So let's keep moving. Let's pray. I'm talking a lot on this one, but this one is really dear to my heart because a lot of time people stay stuck and they wonder why they stuck because they keep going back, like they're backpedaling backwards into their life because they're too afraid to go forward. You know, they're doing stuff they did 10 years ago when that has no longer valid. It has played out. It's old.

25:03 Instead of exploring what's new. What God is doing in the new. And I always say that when God moves you into the new, you will have to learn a new skill. I didn't know how to do any podcasting. I'm just following instructions that the Lord said, you will start a podcast. I'm like, boom. You listen to my earlier podcast. People say it's kind of staticky. Yeah, it's old. I don't know what I was doing. I still kind of got a new mic and new setup. Hope it sounds clearer. but still, I'm still learning as I'm going, but I'm not looking back. I'm not even going back. I don't even edit my stuff because I want you to hear me clearly that I'm just a regular girl just preaching the gospel, just keeping it real and being obedient to the call. Let's pray.

25:56 Lord, forgive me for every time I looked back. Help me to release what you've delivered me from. Cut the ties to every place, person, or mindset that's not in my future. I want to move forward. I want to obey fully. I want to live free. In Jesus' name, amen. This has been Faith on the Go with your host, Connie Morris. In this season, don't be lost, wife. Don't get out and still be stuck. Move forward, let go, and don't look back. Be sure to follow, review, and share. Find me on DiaryOfBlackWomenLLC.com, that's my website, or on Instagram at X, at DiaryOfBlackWomenPodcast.

26:46 Until next time, keep your eyes ahead and your heart open and walk strong with faith on the go. Bye-bye.